Hey Reddit. My ex just got engaged. I'm drinking that news away. Help me get over it, and be really happy for her (which I am)

OblioNilsson · 1 year

That's a pretty messed up situation.

But if you agree to be "in" the wedding, or even attend it, I am going to fly to wherever you live and smack the taste out your mouth.

CreepyFable · 1 year

Once there was a boy who wanted a video game. Not just any game, it would be the best game of his life. Ninja Death Stabber 9000, the game was called. In the language of the heart, its name meant "love".

The boy completed extra chores, begged and pleaded with relatives, and saved every penny he could. Finally, after a month, he bought the game and brought it home.

He played the game for what seemed like years, until he hit a wall. He just wasn't good enough to progress, and he felt frustrated. He expected a transcendent experience, not another challenge. Just getting the game was hard enough!

The next day, he went online and found cheat codes. He fired up the game, entered the codes, and continued to the end of the game. Afterward, he sat in front of the TV and felt hot tears on his face.

"I just won. I got what I wanted. Why don't I feel happy? Why do I feel like the struggle was better than the reward?"

"Because you're Irish and Catholic," the boy's father yelled from another room. "Now go get me a beer, you pussy."

[deleted] · 1 year

Graciously decline the invitation to be a groomsman. The fact that you're drinking to deal with already answers how you feel about it. Hell, send them a nice wedding present to show your wishes for their happiness. But don't torture yourself by pretending that it would or even should be a happy experience for you, and it sure as hell isn't a good idea on her part to say shit like she "still loves you".

rhino369 · 1 year

No you aren't happy for her. Do not go to the wedding. If she asks why not, just say it would be weird.

internet-arbiter · 1 year

Seriously why are you still talking to her? It was all wishful thinking. Get over her and move on. Don't talk to her anymore. You don't need to explain anything to her. You will resent her because you cared / still wanted it.

its over dude

kenvsryu · 1 year

Wash your sundress and go out to a bar.

likufanele · 1 year

Cut all contact, delete from facebook, hit the gym

Keith · 1 year

Ouch, I hear you. I'd be drunk tonight too if I were you :(

daylight_rock · 1 year

Hey! Here's an idea for you. Go to the wedding (don't be "in" the wedding if you can avoid it... that's not your role and she shouldn't press you into that situation given that you've been together). When you're there, fuck one of her bridesmaids. Or two. She'll definitely vouch for you being "a good guy," and at a wedding that's all you need.

Seriously, though, I sympathize. Enjoy getting drunk tonight, don't listen to the people on here who say it's bad for you, you're a man and this is what we do when real shit gets us down. But... you only get to play this card once. When you wake up tomorrow/this morning, go to the gym, read a book, or learn something and in some way, improve yourself. This is how you work towards forgetting her and finding someone better.

482123 · 1 year

Where do you live? I'll be there in 20. We're going to a strip club.

MsgGodzilla · 1 year

7 months thats a recipe for divorce.

ESJ · 1 year

I blame Friends for convincing every guy who watched it that maybe all relationships could work like Ross & Rachel's. "New SOs? Engagements? Weddings? Oh, they'll get back together eventually."

[deleted] · 1 year

I had a friend in this exact situation. As soon as he heard that she was getting married he borrowed as much money as he could from all of his friends and saved up all that he could and got himself a trip to Europe for 2 months.

GET AS FAR AWAY AS YOU CAN

shiny_brine · 1 year

Dam. Your duty now is to show up to the wedding completely pisses and video tape the entire thing to post on reddit.

tinster9 · 1 year

7 months? Too soon. It will fall apart or they will get divorced. Start banging chicks like there is no tomorrow. Maybe she will be back on the market or you will have found someone ever better. Keep your head up!

[deleted] · 1 year

STFU! Get your ass back in the game, son. Quick fucking around with these pansy, bullshit emotions and bang some tail. It's been 7+months. Get your balls out and take 'em for a test drive.

reveurenchante · 1 year

Ouch. That sounds horrible.

In terms of being in the wedding, do what you honestly want to do. It would not be wrong to politely tell her no. You have to look out for yourself right now and you don't have to worry about the wedding if you're not up to it.

Enginerd · 1 year

Oh yea, did I mention she wants me to be in the wedding. A groomsman since she "still loves me" and am friends with her fiance.

Fuck her sister. Then she won't want you to be in the wedding anymore, and you don't have to have that awkward conversation. Everybody wins!

Seriously though, wtf? If you guys are still in touch then an invite to the wedding is warranted, but being in the wedding party?

Rozo-D · 1 year

politely decline the invitation. don't explain your reasons or anything. just decline. Don't let it get you down. the same thing happened to me. I was in a 4-5 year relationship with a girl and she broke up with me to go move away to be with a guy and eventually get engaged to who she met on world of warcraft of all places (yes it makes for quite an interesting story)

at the end of the day you have to look out for number 1 and remember that no matter what, no matter how much it may get to you, you're not her, so it's still a good day.

HyperionCantos · 1 year

Dont try to get happy; Get mad! You've got to get mad!

I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out and yell,

            "I'm as mad as hell,

            and I'm not going to take this anymore!!"

bh3w · 1 year

FUCK THAT SHIT

If she 'still loves you' why would she want you in the wedding, just to rub it in your face. FUCK THAT. Give her your condolences, wishes, and good lucks, then STOP FUCKING TALKING TO HER. Enjoy the drinks because (at least for me too) it's the only way to get her out of your head.

I had the same kind of relationship with my ex, still thinking she would come back.....SHE WONT. It's obvious from the wedding. As said before, graciously decline the groomsman bullshit, get your shit straight, get over her, and meet someone new, it's the only way you will get past this 'she really doesnt want me back' phase.

One redditor to another, cheers, enjoy the headache, i'll be there with you.

TheBawlrus · 1 year

A girl i used to screw around with just got married.

She got wed the 1 year anniversary of me tearing her up c-section style over a wild weekend. From her face book updates she had only known the guy 4-6 months.

BLAM! 2 weeks after the wedding she starts posting ultrasounds of her new 5 month old daughter.

So yes, I do drink when I think of my Ex. And I raise it high in the air and say "HAH! Not me!" and everyone gives me weird looks.

G9A5 · 1 year

"Or forever hold their peace" is your cue to commit an outrage of some kind.

[deleted] · 1 year

Putting all your eggs in one basket (read: female) is a big no-no, especially if she isn't even your girlfriend. You fucked up.

[deleted] · 1 year

Dude, to save yourself the hurt, just dont go. Dont do it man. We all have those certain people that we just, thought we were going to be with for a long long time you know. Dont go to the wedding. You're not happy for her. You know deep down inside that if you could make it so that she'd be with you, that you would. She sounds like a nice girl actually, I dont think shes trying to rub anything in your face. Im sorry she got away man, but dont go to the wedding. It'll save you the heartache, and the pain.

ShaiGuy · 1 year

I can only comment based on my experiences. Firstly, don't try to fight you emotions. Rationally, you might genuinely think he's a good guy and still appreciate the girl as a person, but emotionally it will mess you up. You will experience emotions that are beyond your control. As many people already said, focus on yourself for the moment. Try to be to busy to let your mind cycle back to her and him. As far as the wedding goes, there's no need to be a martyr. If you have any doubt about how it will make you feel, don't go - for their sake and yours. If they genuinely know you they will understand and it won't be weird. I wish you all the best, and hope life delivers one of its occasionally well timed surprises that gets you back to feeling good.

loki93009 · 1 year

It is impossible for any good to come out of you being involved at all in the wedding, or even with her. You should definitely cut all ties, and if you're right and you are supposed to end up together she'll come find you. Either way disaster averted and you don't look like an ass or pathetic for still being in love with her. (don't blame you though we all have exes we just can't get over)

TheSpeedy · 1 year

Go to the wedding. Cause a scene. This is the stuff romantic comedies are made of.

meteors · 1 year

Perhaps you will still end up with her eventually. After all, half of all marriages fail.

inthesanebucket · 1 year

fucked, man. I can really feel you. I've got a girl who I was with for 3+ years, who I'm still completely in love with, who 3 weeks ago decided she didn't want to be with me any more. I'm still at the point where i'm just hoping she will change her mind, even thought I know i'm sposed to just get over her. The idea of her dating/sleeping with another guy would just split my brain in half and make me want to die. Can't imagine her talking about marrying some other dude.

shipshipship · 1 year

If you plan on taking the usual advice (cut all contact; delete from Facebook; hit the gym), or in any case, why not tell her everything, and do it now before the wedding approaches?

Spill your guts, go for broke, and most likely get rejected. But you tried, right? You can look back and say to yourself: I DID WHAT I COULD! And not look back in regret, thinking, "What if..."

Just a thought.

grove93 · 1 year

Always remember that you are exes for a reason.

thunderlips · 1 year

lol you blew it

usingthisonce · 1 year

Dear god man. Break out the whiskey.

iamatfuckingwork · 1 year

Dude, I just read your post. Drinking commenced. You're welcome.

nancyjew · 1 year

Yes. You are being selfish and naive.

NicNash08 · 1 year

Been there. I'm better off for it tho.

Sorry bro, it sucks

CrackHeadRodeo · 1 year

You'll get over it,trust me,and you will be having more fun than her.

Quetz23 · 1 year

Why do so many guys get bummed out over this? My ex of two years recently got married and I could care less...

davidofderbyshire · 1 year

Perhaps it will give you closure?

[deleted] · 1 year

Cut all contact. Delete from facebook. Hit the gym.

Ra__ · 1 year

Someday you will feel like this.

BarbaraGordon · 1 year

This just happened to me. Weird. I have been drinking but it's not helping so I think I'm gonna take the opposite approach. Good luck to you.

osmun · 1 year

Stop being a bitch and get over it.

Man up.

sitting-duck · 1 year

Do the right thing, go to wedding and be strong. BTW, weddings are great for meeting single women.

pbxtech · 1 year

You love her, so you want the best for her. It's hard to learn that's not you. It took me years to pound that into my head.

Ra__ · 1 year

If she doesn't appreciate you, she doesn't deserve you. You're a chump for mooning over a lost love. She is never gonna consider you to be more than a safety net. She knows she has you in the palm of her hand. She doesn't want you. She wants something better. You are not good enough for her in her eyes. Get over it.

BigWimply · 1 year

Stop talking to your ex. If she wants to talk to you, she can damn well get her mouth on your penis, or at least pretend to love you.

undersupervised · 1 year

if they are really your friends (and by that i mean they care for you, not that you care for them) you should suck it up and be in the wedding. maybe break ties after if you need to preserve your sanity.

i don't know about this "still loves me" stuff though....that's a pretty fucked up thing of her to say if she knows or even suspects you still have feelings for her. that makes me wonder if she is really your friend. either way, it's a terrible situation, but not necessarily anyone's fault. just one of those things that sometimes makes life a bowl of poop.

btw, if the fiance had posted to askreddit 'should i invite my fiancee's exboyfriend to the wedding even though he still pines for her', reddit would say 'fuck no, you should shit on his car and burn down his house. then kick your whore fiancee to the curb. DO IT. NOW. IMMEDIATELY.'

TheRealBramtyr · 1 year

Have sex with her sister. If she has no sister, have sex with her mother. Inform her with an anonymously mailed video tape of the act! Vengeance will be grand!

Ra__ · 1 year

When life presents me with a struggle, I always ask myself the same question; What would OJ do?

Yawb · 1 year

She married the guy after 7 months? I have a feeling it might not last very long.

clauwn · 1 year

Get over it. Stop drinking.

popo520 · 1 year

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