this post was submitted on
1,000 points (57% like it)
4,051 up votes 3,051 down votes

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own!

top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]UhOh_Nanobots 940 points941 points ago

"I'd fuck that dude", usually

[–]Frost_ 574 points575 points ago

Indeed.

Also, I tend to think of sex more as doing something with someone, as opposed to doing something to someone, or having something done to me.

So, mostly along the lines of "I wanna do some nasty, nasty things with that dude."

[–]Maxamillionaire 825 points826 points ago

I would have...at least, three or four sexes at that person.

[–]brandonkiel27 318 points319 points ago

I would have sex aboard that person

[–]rabidfurby 307 points308 points ago

Avast! I sight a fuckings on the horizon!

[–]LadySteiner 1353 points1354 points ago

I think more explicitly than that. I think, "I want him inside me." And more graphic details.

[–]TheShittyBeatles 926 points927 points ago

Go on...

[–]CaptainNonchalant 979 points980 points ago

This is a safe place...

[–]Korovin 570 points571 points ago

For some reason I have you tagged as being "bad in bed"

[–]HellaBitchin 568 points569 points ago

Can I be tagged as "an average lay but a valiant effort"

[–]The_Young_Contrarian 396 points397 points ago

Might as well tag me as that too while you're at it :-(

[–]garrisb7514 117 points118 points ago

got ya! thanks you're my first tag. i made you purple.

[–]LadySteiner 342 points343 points ago

Not sure this is the place to be writing out the pornography that often plays in my mind. Although, it is fun to practice writing explicitly detailed messages for the sheer fun of it.

[–]yourtehdiction 1401 points1402 points ago

I SEE WORDS BUT NO CONTENT

[–]IAmGoingToFuckThat 55 points56 points ago

[–]WHARRGARBLLL 124 points125 points ago

And then?

[–]blackstep 191 points192 points ago

no and then.

[–]ohnoesbleh 184 points185 points ago

AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN

[–]StopShakingMyBabies 661 points662 points ago

Inside of you

Inside of you

There's got to be

Some part of me

Inside of you

Inside of you, I could cross this desert plane

Inside of you, I can hear you scream my name

Inside of you, while the stars unfold

I've crossed me heart and I've crossed the world

And I need you here and I need to be

Inside of you

Now the flowers bloom

I feel you creep into my room

And if this should be our tune

I'll die here inside of you

And the world explodes

I've never been down this road

Teach me how to glow

While I'm moving

Inside of you

Inside of you, the restless find their dreams

Inside of you, this king has found his queen

Inside of you, all the stars unfold

I've crossed me heart and I've crossed the world

And I need you here and I need to be Inside of you

Inside of you

Bay blue

So say it's you

To thoughts untrue

Who I woo

It's you I woo

Through and through

And through and through

There's so much more than just a screw

Inside of you

And I was blizzard blind

Felt like I've lost me mind

But you've treated me so kind

I don't know what to do.

[–]overthrowgovt 303 points304 points ago

just went from 6 to midnight

[–]HannShotFirst 211 points212 points ago

Upvote for Infant Sorrow.

[–]suicidemachine 1481 points1482 points ago

I've always got a weird feeling that all those "women of reddit:" topics end up with guys pretending to be girls, with an intention to troll other guys.

[–]CaptainNonchalant 328 points329 points ago

I used to think that, then I read the numerous threads in which redditors posted pictures of themselves. We have a surprising number of women here.

[–]Negro_Napoleon 282 points283 points ago

the variety on /r/gonewild is astonishing when you think about it.

[–]imafishyfish 47 points48 points ago

I don't think those thread are an accurate representation of the number of women viewing the average reddit thread.

[–]PossiblyTheDoctor 447 points448 points ago

You mean like if someone posts "I want him to rape me violently on the spot"?

[–]CrazyMcfobo 595 points596 points ago

"I'm not into guys that don't rape me on the spot"

[–]FormerContra 591 points592 points ago

"You know what never fails to make me climax? When you hit me in the stomach with a large stick."

[–]thewifething 14 points15 points ago

Husband said I should make this

[–]eriwinsto 30 points31 points ago

Reddit: It's like Cosmo for neckbeards!

[–]mejulies 1203 points1204 points ago

"I would like to co-fuck with this gentleman until both needs are met to satisfaction."

[–]tenkadaiichi 254 points255 points ago

r/proper is thataway!

[–]Herborist 204 points205 points ago

Sir, the madam cordially requests you leave forthwith. She is far too busy with her gentlemen suitors.

[–]Crypticusername 8 points9 points ago*

Furthermore, she humbly requests that you withdraw thine head from betwixt her legs, as she fears herself malodorous and thineself ill convenienced.

[–]FormerContra 14 points15 points ago

Co-fuck added to vocabulary.

My personal favourite is: "Would you like to see my etchings?"

[–]cartoonheroes 715 points716 points ago

Yeah, I definitely think it depends on if I'm feeling particularly submissive or dominant that day. Sometimes I see a hot motherfucker and I just want him to take me then and there I'll be thinking, That guy needs to fuck me. Now.

If I'm feeling feisty and dom I'll be thinking, I want to fuck that guy so hard his ancestors will feel it.

There are a lot of nice inbetweeners too, like DAMN I WANT TO MAKE THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS WITH THAT GUY and of course, the ever popular, WHY DOES HE STILL HAVE HIS PANTS ON?!

[–]zenthor109 565 points566 points ago

WHY DOES HE STILL HAVE HIS PANTS ON?!

because i don't want to poke anyone's eye out

[–]flume 33 points34 points ago

Holy shit, how wall are you?

[–]MrMustang 72 points73 points ago*

extremely wall. im guessing either german or chinese in ancestry. they build em best!

[–]youresayingitwrong 200 points201 points ago

If you throw in a couple of really strange thoughts like "I want to lick his left knee" you've totally got my thought pattern down.

[–]cartoonheroes 96 points97 points ago

Haha, I get those too! Mostly with hands. If a guy has big hands I'm swooning.

[–]dontlookatmethatway 125 points126 points ago

when the guy's hands look nice (big, maybe rugged-looking?), i think about him fingering me and playing with me and all my stuff

[–]Aederrex 60 points61 points ago

Note to self, use hands more when talking to women. Consider adopting aliensguy pose.

[–]shrubberni 118 points119 points ago

Any woman who quotes Othello at me gets an automatic +2 on the hotness scale.

[–]Sowinov 22 points23 points ago

That's from Othello?! I thought it was just some old saying.

[–]shrubberni 77 points78 points ago

IAGO 'Zounds, sir, you are one of those that will not serve God, if the devil bid you. Because we come to do you service and you think we are ruffians, you'll have your daughter covered with a Barbary horse; you'll have your nephews neigh to you; you'll have coursers for cousins and gennets for germans.

BRABANTIO What profane wretch art thou?

IAGO I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.

BRABANTIO Thou art a villain.

IAGO You are--a senator.

BRABANTIO This thou shalt answer; I know thee, Roderigo.

RODERIGO Sir, I will answer any thing. But, I beseech you, If't be your pleasure and most wise consent, As partly I find it is, that your fair daughter, At this odd-even and dull watch o' the night, Transported, with no worse nor better guard But with a knave of common hire, a gondolier, To the gross clasps of a lascivious Moor-- If this be known to you and your allowance, We then have done you bold and saucy wrongs; But if you know not this, my manners tell me We have your wrong rebuke.

(Othello, Act I Scene I)

[–]ShallowBasketcase 40 points41 points ago

Also:

IAGO: WHEREFOR ART THINE PANTS STILL ON!?

[–]Candytails 1572 points1573 points ago

"I want that guy to eat me out" is usually what I think.

[–][deleted] 1225 points1226 points ago

Woman here. Completely with you on this one. Sitting in class I am constantly fantasizing about being eaten out by the hot men all around. Annnd that is why so many of my notes are blank.

[–]mindbleach 1743 points1744 points ago

Have you tried... asking?

It might just be that simple.

[–]JFreib179 2007 points2008 points ago

It's that simple.

[–]space_boat 490 points491 points ago

We fellate the batman.

[–]WhyAmINotStudying 63 points64 points ago

This procreates the crab.

[–]StudleyMumfuzz 1553 points1554 points ago

It really is just that simple.

[–]40kfreak 1411 points1412 points ago

so. fucking. simple.

[–]clngallagher 938 points939 points ago

Wait.... How simple is it?

[–]2paws 248 points249 points ago*

Either I have been very unlucky in dating men that aren't into giving head or there's something horribly wrong with my lady bits :/

EDIT: Ok Ok 'Going down' not 'Giving head'

[–]0311 599 points600 points ago

I thought everyone loved it for a long time until I was talking to a group of friends and they were were all extremely surprised that I eat girls out.

Me: "Seriously, guys? Do you like getting head?"

Them: "Duh, who doesn't?"

Me: "But you won't go down on a girl?"

Them: "Of course not, that's gross!"

Me: "....what the fuck?"

Still my favorite thing!

[–]raziphel 604 points605 points ago

wow. you're surrounded by assholes.

keep firing, assholes!

[–]Nixhatter 135 points136 points ago

I'll pretty much upvote any spaceballs reference.

[–]oniongasm 181 points182 points ago

Yeah I've had that conversation. I don't understand when other guys don't like doing going down on girls. You get all five senses fulfilled and it's so much easier to please her that way.

[–]0311 210 points211 points ago

No idea. I've come to pride myself on my skills in that area. And turning a girl on/getting a girl off REALLY turns me on, so...win win!

[–]oniongasm 161 points162 points ago

I often feel more deeply satisfied from getting a girl off than anything that happens to me. The girlfriend isn't about to complain about this situation. I get kind of handsy if I don't get to go down on her for a while, honestly.

[–]44banger 139 points140 points ago

ill do it you live in az?

[–]AliveInTheFuture 51 points52 points ago

Totally nonchalant.

[–]amnesiac2323 101 points102 points ago

He's not joking.

[–]spermracewinner 74 points75 points ago

Fantasy isn't the same as real life! I think about punching people (I hate) in the heads, but I wouldn't want to actually do it.

[–]IAmTheBatmanNow 329 points330 points ago

Have you tried just asking though?

[–]very_very_sneaky 249 points250 points ago

It's that simple.

[–]leadshadow 57 points58 points ago

It really is that simple

[–]zenthor109 746 points747 points ago

i know if i girl randomly asked me to eat her out, there is a 85% chance that i will say yes

[–]WHARRGARBLLL 1431 points1432 points ago

If a girl asked me that I would straight wharrgarbl that pussy till it squirted all over my face.

[–]nathan1653 142 points143 points ago

wharrgarbl is officially the word i will use from now on

[–]bonejangles 400 points401 points ago

it is the first time in a LOOONG while since I have actually laughed out loud at a comment...mostly due to clever use of username.

[–]WHARRGARBLLL 595 points596 points ago

it is the first time in a LOOONG time my username has been relevant!

[–]Alex1609 161 points162 points ago

I am cursed to be forever irrelevant. Damn my conservative and insipid choice of username.

[–]bonejangles 625 points626 points ago

hmmm....what if the topic is favorite poet and the year of their death?

Alexander Hume, died 1609.

[–]catboom 279 points280 points ago

Boom

[–]Mountainminer 152 points153 points ago

holy Shit

[–]warmandfuzzy 197 points198 points ago

Well....

Be attractive.

Don't be unattractive.

[–][deleted] 237 points238 points ago

You might be a genius. In theory, I love the idea of just asking. But it's pretty scary. Would you go up to a girl and ask her to suck your cock?

[–]HazardousPeach 559 points560 points ago

It would be considered perverted and rude if a guy did it, just slightly odd and very forward (good thing) when a girl does it.

[–][deleted] 396 points397 points ago

After I posted that I realized how (unfortunately) vastly different it it. Although I must add that the one time I was asked up front, and I quote, "you wanna suck my dick?", the answer was an enthusiastic yes.

[–]HazardousPeach 129 points130 points ago

Context?

[–]zelmerszoetrop 316 points317 points ago

I like you.

[–]Mr_Smartypants 256 points257 points ago

This study has been done!

The answer: women say no, men say yes.

[–]pickledpepper 405 points406 points ago

It's interesting that this article gets reposted a lot to confirm people's preconceived notions, even though if you actually read the article it is a lot more complex than that. I don't think you can really simplify it into "women say no, men say yes." For one thing, the main factor affecting people's answer is how safe they feel. If women felt safe, they were more likely to be DTF. Also:

Conley conjectures, “In sum, when women conceptualized the unknown proposer, they appeared to be thinking of someone like Carrot Top. When men conceptualized the unknown proposer, they appeared to be thinking of someone like Jennifer Lopez.” [p.320.]

In other words, all the guys posting here saying they'd totally bang a woman who wanted sex up front is being overly optimistic--they're imagining a woman who's actually in their range of attractiveness. They're not thinking of someone who looks like Roseanne or Susan Boyle, and if you take a look around at the people you see in daily life, there are a lot of women who look just like that, they're just not registering in your head when doing thought experiments like "what if a girl asked me to suck her pussy?" Women are more pessimistic, they assume sex with a stranger means they're having sex with an ugly man. The results showed that if men and women KNEW what the stranger looked like, the gap between saying yes or no lessened significantly. That is, men and women want to have sex with attractive strangers, and they don't want to have sex with unattractive strangers. Unsurprising.

So, what you find in many of these comments ("I would do any girl who asks" vs. "girls would call the cops on me and call me a freak") is not representative of overall human interactions, though maybe it's just a reflection on what will happen with redditors.

[–]Scaletta467 233 points234 points ago

No, because the cops would be called pretty damn fast. Hardly any man would call the cops on a girl that asked him to eat her out, but I'm pretty sure some girls would call the cops if you asked her to suck your dick.

You, as a woman, need only to worry about rejection, men in the situation need to worry about being arrested.

[–]Tactful 424 points425 points ago

"Copy that, we've just had reports of an attractive girl harassing men on a bus stop, asking them to 'eat her out'. I think I'm gonna handle this one myself boys, you guys can stay here and provide backup if necessary. Anyone got any jolly ranchers?"

[–]Fremenguy 64 points65 points ago

Anyone got any jolly ranchers?

You sir, caught me off guard with my vomit.

[–]Lolhamsters 155 points156 points ago

I hate you.

[–]DickVonShit 26 points27 points ago

If I knew she would say yes, then of course I would.

[–]moose_man 97 points98 points ago

Are you hi_hi_birdie and I_am_the_cheese's daughter? With a time machine?

CAN I HAVE YOUR TIME MACHINE?!

[–]hihi_birdie 55 points56 points ago

So.. this means I should print out this thread and save it for maximum child embarrassment later, right?

[–]imbignate 156 points157 points ago

So I have a question then- my wife does not appreciate cuningulus from me. She likes it well enough, but I sense she feels awkward or self conscious having her vagina be the center of my attentions. I don't think I'm doing it wrong, so is it possible that it's just not "her bag baby"?

[–]WHARRGARBLLL 785 points786 points ago

My wife is the same way, until I stimulate her G-spot with 2 fingers while I mother fucking riverdance my tongue on her clit.

[–]Aaronsaxman 167 points168 points ago

Well. You sure get the point across. No fucking around.

[–]Lifted 80 points81 points ago

You have made me laugh hysterically twice in this thread uncontrollably and I'm only 1/4 of the way through...

[–]carlosspicywe1ner 547 points548 points ago

Like this?

WHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILLWHARRGARBILL

[–]spyvcoach 332 points333 points ago

Dubstep?

[–]Dascandy 51 points52 points ago

[–]anon8232 111 points112 points ago

I think most women are self conscious about it. I know I was until I went down on a woman myself and experienced first-hand that there was nothing negative about it.

[–]3_Sqr_Muffs_A_Day 15 points16 points ago

It's always good to have multiple perspectives on things.

[–]revolverwaffle 263 points264 points ago*

Yes. My bf likes to and I just feel weird. I mean, it feels nice enough, and it's sorta fun, but every time he asks I just feel like he is trying to pay me back for giving him bj's. He insists that he wouldn't be doing it if he didn't want to and what not, but I cannot wrap my head around the thought of him enjoying it, and that sorta ruins the whole thing.

edit: typo

edit: Ok, I can see by the fuck ton of comments that everyone feels the need to tell me I need to relax and enjoy it. Believe me, I'm trying. I was just answering the question of why not every woman seems to love it.

EDIT: I GET IT. GUYS LOVE IT. THANKS FOR THE ADVICE AND ALL BUT IF I GET ANOTHER COMMENT TELLING ME THE SAME THING AGAIN I'M GOING TO PUNCH A BABY.

[–][deleted] 585 points586 points ago

What's not to enjoy about pleasuring your partner? Feeling her legs around your head, and the soft moans and groans. Feeling her twitch has you hit just the right spots. Seeing that look on her face that communicates pure joy.

...

brb, calling a fuck buddy

[–]tharamin 252 points253 points ago

Reading that comment turned me on. Nothing hotter than a guy who enjoys pleasuring the woman he's with.

[–]urzaz 243 points244 points ago

Plus, he's a goddamn anteater.

[–]Aqualin 32 points33 points ago

So I didn't look at his name, and for about 5 minutes I was under the impression that being an "Anteater" was slang cunnilingus

[–]Unforsaken92 14 points15 points ago

I feel like having ones uterus licked would not be pleasant though I lack the proper anatomy to experience such a thing.

[–]ermetica 49 points50 points ago

I used to think like this, and I think it's because (if you're like me) you don't find the act of eating pussy attractive or even appealing at all so you wonder why he would like it.

When you give him bjs, he's not thinking about "ugh, how can she like dick? its so ugly and my balls are..." he just enjoys it. Just let your internalizing quiet down. As the responses here, a lot of guys feel the same.

[–]Aspel 86 points87 points ago

Do you enjoy giving blowjobs?

[–]revolverwaffle 133 points134 points ago

Yes. My bf uses the argument that if I enjoy giving him bj's, that is what he feels when he reciprocates, so I try and enjoy it. There's just this nagging feeling of "there is no way he actually likes doing this."

[–]Railboy 297 points298 points ago

Trust me it's awesome.

[–][deleted] 167 points168 points ago

It's beyond awesome.

[–]Fearlessleader85 136 points137 points ago

I think you need to start another account very similar except be AunteatersUnite. It would be much more appropriate for this topic.

[–]JTode 112 points113 points ago

He loves it. He loves it so much he thinks about it at work and cries.

[–]weareallfromearth 18 points19 points ago

Does it help if I say that's partly because of societal sexism? We as women get taught that our job in sex is to perform, not to enjoy - sexiness for us is about looking good, not about being sexual and feeling good. But that's just societal BS, and if you want to enjoy your sex life you have to push through it.

[–]UncleTogie 127 points128 points ago

Yes. Yes, we do.

There're a few oddballs who don't care for it, and others that just want their needs filled... but lemme tell ya, if she hasn't orgasmed at least twice before I send Mr. Happy on a spelunking excursion, I feel like I'm doin' it wrong. {exceptions, of course, when y'all both just want a quickie...}

[–]below66 181 points182 points ago

Paying back what? you girls have infinite orgasm potential and it's a partner's job to make you climax as much as possible in every session, and that requires eating the pussy and other foreplay unless your man last for 20-40 minutes. I enjoy the thought of making you climax, so I therefore enjoy eating pussy. There's nothing worth wrapping your head around there, just your legs. We enjoy it because we see you enjoy it, that's the whole point.

[–]asharp 34 points35 points ago

How you doin'...?

[–]IronLusk 27 points28 points ago

Just accept it. Eating pussy is glorious.

[–]FieldMau5 37 points38 points ago

on the other hand, as a dude, if I'm fantasying about a girl I'm thinking "I want to eat that girl out".

that may be wierd, but i don't give a shit. It's the best.

[–]sternje 194 points195 points ago

Original. Hot. Have an upvote.

[–]Sewperjew 618 points619 points ago

[–]flopus 400 points401 points ago

not gonna lie, I was happy to see Jayne

[–]dawgger 280 points281 points ago

He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor

[–]flopus 253 points254 points ago

he stood up to the man and gave him what for

[–]cerebrix 252 points253 points ago

our love for him now aint that hard to explain

[–]particle_vs_wave 266 points267 points ago

the hero of canton, the man they call jayne

[–]GunmetalJane 30 points31 points ago

Yeah, I opened the tab to see Jayne, and had a "Yay!" moment. Of course, I was also hoping the first would be Nathan Fillion, so...

[–]alijohnstone 130 points131 points ago

Has no one noticed the picture on the wall behind nathan?

[–]ela_computadora 132 points133 points ago

I'll be in my bunk.

[–]belanda_goreng 483 points484 points ago

Not necessarily fucking- that's just not the first thing that pops up in my mind- but I think "I want him to want me" more than I think "I want him".

Good question by the way, OP.

[–]onlikeDK[S] 163 points164 points ago

Thank you. I guess sex was the easiest context in which I could formulate my question, but certainly you answered the greater concept I was trying to articulate.

[–]onlikeDK[S] 395 points396 points ago

premature articulation. it happens to the best of us. lol

[–][deleted] 194 points195 points ago

"I'd like to feel him on top of me." or "I want to taste him." are my two most common sexual thoughts towards random men. Occasionally, I find myself wondering what said gentleman's penis looks like, and how much of it I could fit in my mouth. O.o

[–]Halfawake 44 points45 points ago

I'm commenting to voice my appreciation of your comment. The lack of companion comments should be interpreted as speechlessness or the attending to of matters more pressing than the keyboard.

[–]b2ttles 14 points15 points ago

Few things get more pressing than a keyboard.

[–]mysexytimeacct 394 points395 points ago

"I wonder what he looks like naked" then likely "I his cock in my mouth"

[–]auraslip 1061 points1062 points ago

I my cock in your mouth too, baby.

[–]UnawareItsaJoke 203 points204 points ago

Oh Daniel, you have such a way with words.

[–]osamabinhidin 163 points164 points ago

Did you just gag?

[–]bigpony 15 points16 points ago

Sometimes I think this and I literally salivate!

[–]MostUninterstingMan 124 points125 points ago

I think you just accidentally a verb.

[–]Eeveelutions 19 points20 points ago

Or she accidentally a cock.

[–]Robstaley 11 points12 points ago

"I his cock in my mouth"

i'm just taking this down for posterity

[–]Livelovelearn 134 points135 points ago

"the things I would do to him... dirty dirty things" is kind of where my mind goes if he is more cute and innocent (Like I am corrupting him.) "ohhhhh baby what he could do to me" if it's some dark sexy bad boy type.

[–]msluxuryyacht 129 points130 points ago

both, depending on the guy and how frisky I'm feeling.

[–]msluxuryyacht 61 points62 points ago

I would have said "horny" but I honestly hate that word.

[–]zelmerszoetrop 114 points115 points ago

Aroused? Randy? Hot to trot? Wet? Riled up? Bawdy? Fleshly?

[–]alsothewalrus 117 points118 points ago

stares into girl's eyes "You make me feel..." licks lips "...fleshly."

[–]WaterSnake 34 points35 points ago

I don't know about any of those, but now I can only smell cat food...

[–]PerfectGeek 1902 points1903 points ago

Men of reddit; Learning about Women, one AskReddit at a time.

[–][deleted] 1351 points1352 points ago

without ever going outside!

[–]cleancletus 1899 points1900 points ago

or inside.

[–]BCJunglist 838 points839 points ago

clap clap clap clap clap clap

[–]pizz0wn3d 544 points545 points ago

Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap

[–][deleted] 735 points736 points ago

"I'm glad he's single, cause I'm gonna climb that like a tree."

[–]starfox22 551 points552 points ago

Being 6'3, I welcome this challenge.

[–][deleted] 496 points497 points ago

Being 5'1, a challenge it will be.

[–]rocksolid142 209 points210 points ago

Apparently I have a thing for girls who are 5'1" and they have a thing for me. On the bright side, you're all really easy to pick up.

[–]TheMarshma 350 points351 points ago

As a 5'2" asian, 5'1" girls are pretty much all I'm allowed to go for. =P y u take my girls tall people!

[–]P2000Camaro 200 points201 points ago

DEY TOOK YER GIRRRLS!

[–]PerogiXW 84 points85 points ago

DE TURKAGRRUL

[–]Dielon 45 points46 points ago

E TUKRGRRRR!

[–]cultured_banana_slug 34 points35 points ago

Damn, one of the girls in my dorms had a thing for shorter Asian guys. Somewhere out there is a 5'6" Latina who would happily rock your world. She's out there. Somewhere.

[–]rocksolid142 95 points96 points ago

being 6'1", I welcome just being jumped up onto.

[–]Salva_Veritate 334 points335 points ago

Being 5'7", I'm wondering if it's possible to climb a potted plant. :/

[–]zelmerszoetrop 265 points266 points ago

At 5'8'', I love 5'7'' folks.

I looked for a photo to illustrate this humorously, failed, and now have "smug midget" in my Google search history.

[–]Mr_Smartypants 104 points105 points ago

Smug midget...smudget!

[–]cma6250 176 points177 points ago

Being a 62' redwood, be rough, baby.

[–]zodar 147 points148 points ago

This thread is going to leave me dehydrated.

[–]jennyhaniver 168 points169 points ago

"I would ride him like the pony I never had" is my usual first thought.

But to your question specifically, the former.

[–]daedalus733 76 points77 points ago

Probably a good thing you never had a pony...

[–]huyvanbin 34 points35 points ago

Women of Reddit: When lusting for a horse, do you think "I want to fuck that horse" or do you think "I want that horse to fuck me"?

[–]girloncouch 160 points161 points ago*

I want him to fuck me....hard. I tend to fantasize about him grabbing me, kissing me, pushing me up against a wall, etc. etc., then throwing me on the bed, etc. etc.

*Edit: You asked specifically about sex with a man, but I just realized and found it interesting that I think differently about women that I am attracted to. If I am thinking sexual thoughts about another woman, it usually involves what I would like to do to her.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]footstepsfading 18 points19 points ago

Thirded! Although, I do like things a bit more equal with men than you, I'd rather be him be mostly in control. I wanna be worshiped. With women, I'd rather enjoy them in the ways I want to. And the ways that would feel good for them. And... shit. Now i'm horny.

[–]furixx 157 points158 points ago

I think the latter- I just want him to fuck me, preferably hard.

[–]monkey_paws 194 points195 points ago

"I want that guy inside me"

[–]heyheyitsrae 290 points291 points ago

I'm kinda into feminine guys, and I can be dominant in the bedroom. So if he looks feminine enough then "I want to fuck him," but if he looks like the abusive type (I'm into being dominant AND submissive. Weird, I know) then I usually think something along the lines of "I want him to tie me up and fuck me from behind and call me a whore." .^ So there's my kinky input.

[–]CaptainNonchalant 227 points228 points ago

I'm into being dominant AND submissive.

Score.

[–]Ejvind 343 points344 points ago

I came into this thread hoping for an erection. I left with mental scarring...

and an erection.

[–]arthur_sc_king 51 points52 points ago*

(I'm into being dominant AND submissive. Weird, I know)

Not a damn thing wrong with being a switch. %-) Kind of like being bi, you get twice the fun, twice the odds of scoring....

ETA: I figure I'm maybe 90/10 D/s myself....

[–]bobbieluvsya 109 points110 points ago

All depends on my mood and the dude. Sometimes I want to be rammed, sometimes I want him to lie there and take it. Sort of like in the bedroom, really.

[–]kayla_kixx 86 points87 points ago

My first reaction is I want to fuck that guy but what that means in my head is I want him to pound me out... almost all my "desires" involve the guy doing the fucking.

[–]grimatongueworm 189 points190 points ago

Sam Kenison here, back from the dead with this message - "Ladies, if there's something that really makes you hot, really gets you off . . . FUCKING TELL US ABOUT IT!!! All we're asking for is A LITTLE INFORMATION!! Don't tell you mom, or your girlfriend, TELL US! WE'RE THE ONES THAT FUCK YOU! Tell us your deepest, darkest desires and WE'LL FUCKING DO IT! WILL WE DO IT GUYS???? WE WILL DO IT!!!!!!"

[–]steelgina 91 points92 points ago*

More like "I want to be naked and see what he can do about it" for me

Edit: I accidentally out a word

[–]AsexyMime 112 points113 points ago

My thoughts are a little different because I'm asexual, but if I see someone I like my brain goes, "I'd cuddle him half to death." But I never do...

[–]DrippyBeard 58 points59 points ago

So what you're saying is... I should just tell the girl at Barnes & Noble to put my penis in her mouth, because she's obviously been fantasizing about the size and shape and whether or not she could?

Confidence issues: solved! Thanks for the advice reddit!

[–]halffro777 92 points93 points ago

I would like a progress report on this in one week.

[–]dianeorama 55 points56 points ago

"I would let him do horrible things to me."

[–]fixedzero 149 points150 points ago

I think about him standing in front of me and me kneeling and unbuckling his belt. Mmm, yes please.

[–]fmlfml1 297 points298 points ago

Nice try, male redditor.

[–]aggibridges 141 points142 points ago

As a girl, I can confirm this. My boyfriend thinks it's profoundly weird that I wish his cock was in my mouth roughly 80% of the time. I've barely gotten him to 1 bj a day & I'm hoping for at least 2 :(

[–]sixmonthslater 154 points155 points ago

Wow, one of my favorite things to think about when I'm touching myself is kissing my boyfriend down his chest until I get to his pants where I pause for a moment to look up at him and ask "Please?" then I unzip him and give him a blow job.

My boyfriend thinks it's weird too but he encourages it.

[–]radiopig 123 points124 points ago

That. . . is the most insanely arousing thing I have read in a long time.

[–]sandibeans 33 points34 points ago

Oh God me too! When we're apart I always think about how his cock feels inside my mouth/on my lips, it makes me crave giving him head. I don't think he understands this sort of craving.

[–]nofear220 34 points35 points ago

Why the fuck have I never been with a girl that likes giving head... God fucking damnit