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Everyone on team reddit would like to raise a toast to jedberg and the missus, in celebration of their embarkation into the exhilaration that is married life! (self.blog)

submitted ago by reddit[A]

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Congratulations, Jeremy and Kathy!

(Note to community: Since the only five people in the world who know how reddit's technology works are all going to be at the reception tonight, please try to avoid doing things that might stress the servers, such as submitting a post that generates a gigantic comment thread.)

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[–]Fuzzyk 136 points137 points ago

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Spawn more overlords!

[–]kn0thing 25 points26 points ago

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And here's their reddit-themed cake!

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    [–]mrcurly 127 points128 points ago

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    Have a kid and call him Ice. Iceberg. Yeah.

    [–]krispykrackers 56 points57 points ago* 

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    I have a cousin whose last name is Walker. She and her husband seriously considered naming their little girl "Sky" and the boy "Johnny."

    [–]FedoraToppedLurker 68 points69 points ago

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    The boy should have been Luke, middle name Sky.

    [–]fatpads 16 points17 points ago

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    My friend was very nearly called that. I think he must curse his ill fortune every day.

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        [–]arasari 17 points18 points ago

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        Iceedberg?

        [–]deadapostle 25 points26 points ago

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        Just don't buy a zeppelin and name it Hinden.

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          [–]jedberg 373 points374 points ago* 

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          Thanks everyone!

          Needless to say, I probably won't be able to respond to anything here today! ;)

          But please know that your support is much appreciated!

          Edit: To give you an idea of how cool my wife is, she let me write the entire wedding ceremony, which included quotes from Carl Sagan, the Simpsons, Futurama, Star Trek/Wars, and even included tweeting during the ceremony.

          [–]TheUltimateDouche 332 points333 points ago

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          WELL ... THAT'S ONE REDDITOR WHO WILL SEE A BOOBY TONIGHT. CONGRATS

          [–]MeinKampfire 159 points160 points ago

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          I sure hope he'll see at least two...

          [–]Ctrl-C 141 points142 points ago

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          http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3238/2437227925_ae1ef6f306.jpg

          [–][deleted] ago

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          [deleted]

          [–]solidwhetstone 105 points106 points ago

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          More like NSFBP

          [–]squackmire 34 points35 points ago

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          Too soon.

          [–]raldi 8 points9 points ago

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          Where are you, joke-explainer?

          [–]flippityfloppityfloo 15 points16 points ago

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          I'll go for it in the mean time. NSFBP represents Not Safe For British Petroleum, designating that a clean sea bird is not safe for the company and that they must now dip it in oil.

          [–]NeedsNewName 6 points7 points ago

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          Fancy a shag?

          [–]Mr_Sadist 25 points26 points ago

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          Or some tits!

          [–]asdfman123 21 points22 points ago

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          Those tits look rather small to me.

          [–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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          Austrailian?

          [–]pokute 24 points25 points ago

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          Nah, they're illegal there.

          [–]treblezen 17 points18 points ago

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          http://www.gifanatics.com/files/bouncing%20tits.gif

          [–]BoonTobias 14 points15 points ago

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          Flap flap flap

          [–]doogleduck 10 points11 points ago

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          Great pair of jugs

          [–]FeverSK 6 points7 points ago

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          Meh, they're kinda uneven.

          [–]derektherock42 9 points10 points ago

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          And look at these knockers! (NSFW!)

          [–]deighv 14 points15 points ago

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          Finally. After all the jokes I just wanted to see some mammaries.

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            [–]AngryData 9 points10 points ago

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            HAHA! the left boob is bigger than the right boob!

            [–]senoadiw 10 points11 points ago

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            Nice pair of boobies!

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              [–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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              Achem: http://twitpic.com/2eidr0

              via: http://twitter.com/ladyleet/status/21119785352

              @ladyleet @dsalons Nice pic. :) I'm glad to see two of my favorite ladies bumping bosoms.

              -Jedberg

              [–]kernjb 4 points5 points ago

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              i think the best weddings are the ones where the groom and bride don't have sex. think about it. you have all your friends and family together. how often does that happen? get shit faced and fuck for the rest of your lives!

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                [–]qwantz 59 points60 points ago

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                Congrats dude! We are now TOTALLY MARRIED DUDES, high fives for that!

                [–]shanedoth 8 points9 points ago

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                You being on reddit is making worlds collide.

                Also, your name wasn't taken up until 9 months ago? My worldview before today really was fundamentally flawed.

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                  [–]deadapostle 27 points28 points ago

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                  Congrats, man. When the inevitable divorce comes along and reddit gets split in half, I want to go with the half with all of the dirty violentacrez reddits.

                  But seriously, this is awesome. I'm glad you get a bit of happy in your life.

                  [–]violentacrez 49 points50 points ago

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                  Sicko.

                  [–]deadapostle 15 points16 points ago

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                  Dang. I thought I was safe as long as I didn't utter your name three times in front of a bathroom mirror.

                  [–]-Candlejack- 14 points15 points ago

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                  No. You only have to say his name once.

                  [–]deadapostle 14 points15 points ago

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                  Redditor for five months and you come in for jedberg's wedding thread to make your first comment. You're such a romantic.

                  [–]rmccue 5 points6 points ago

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                  Who's romantic?

                  [–]superdug 2 points3 points ago

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                  no silly, thats the boogieman.

                  Remember the saying if you get confused on the two ... boogieman may be scary, but at least the lube he'll be carrying

                  wink

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                    [–]krispykrackers 16 points17 points ago

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                    I can see it now-

                    @jedberg: I do!

                    (congrats!)

                    [–]doody 5 points6 points ago

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                    she let me

                    Wow, you’re a fast learner!

                    Congrats, Jedberg, and Jedbergette! Live long and prosper.

                    [–]asdfman123 6 points7 points ago

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                    Congratulations! Pics or it didn't happen.

                    [–]blmurch 7 points8 points ago

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                    http://twitpic.com/2eumm9

                    [–]Keali 5 points6 points ago

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                    Congratulations, and celebrations!!!!!

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                      [–]Castrop-Rauxel 27 points28 points ago

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                      TIL that the reddit bus factor is 5.

                      [–]raldi 29 points30 points ago

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                      Did I mention we're all taking the same bus to the reception?

                      [–]GuaranteedDownVote 14 points15 points ago

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                      Tip the driver, because if this site goes down because that bus crashes I will be bored as fuck, and if I have to go outside, I'm coming to find you for an explanation.

                      [–]Press_Start 4 points5 points ago

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                      A shortbus? No seriously. How big is the bus? Is it just the five of you in the bus? Are there other people on the bus? Who are these people on the bus? Are they going to the same place as you guys? Where are you guys going anyway? Canada? Why are you going to Canada? Canada sucks.

                      [–]neutralmind 237 points238 points ago* 

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                      We'll do our best to keep things down but this calls for a celebration. Help me out, my friends!

                      10,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall, 10,000,000 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around – 9,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall!

                      [–][deleted] 88 points89 points ago

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                      9,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall, 9,999,999 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around – 9,999,998 bottles of beer on the wall!

                      [–]freehat 82 points83 points ago

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                      9,999,998 bottles of beer on the wall, 9,999,998 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around – 9,999,997 bottles of beer on the wall!

                      [–]danieljackcox 75 points76 points ago

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                      9,999,997 bottles of beer on the wall, 9,999,997 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around – 9,999,996 bottles of beer on the wall!

                      [–]DeadlyBrad42 67 points68 points ago

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                      9,999,996 bottles of beer on the wall, 9,999,996 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around – 9,999,995 bottles of beer on the wall!

                      [–]wildwichtel 63 points64 points ago

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                      9,999,995 bottles of beer on the wall, 9,999,995 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around – 9,999,994 bottles of beer on the wall!

                      [–]NonEuclideanVaginas 61 points62 points ago

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                      9,999,994 bottles of beer on the wall, 9,999,994 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around – 9,999,993 bottles of beer on the wall!

                      [–]respite 55 points56 points ago

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                      9,999,993 bottles of beer on the wall, 9,999,993 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around – 9,999,992 bottles of beer on the wall!

                      [–]Dionysus_ 56 points57 points ago

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                      9,999,992 bottles of beer on the wall, 9,999,992 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around – 9,999,991 bottles of beer on the wall!

                      [–]bilygates 54 points55 points ago

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                      9,999,991 bottles of beer on the wall, 9,999,991 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around – 9,999,990 bottles of beer on the wall!

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                              [–]Daleeburg 23 points24 points ago* 

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                              Ill write the program:

                              int bottles = 10000000;
while(bottles > 0)
{
    cout << bottles <<" bottles of beer on the wall, "<< bottles <<" bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around – "<< --bottles <<" bottles of beer on the wall!" << endl;
}

                              Someone else has to figure out how to auto post it to reddit.

                              [–]ComputerDruid 13 points14 points ago* 

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                              someone doesn't know the difference between the prefix and postfix versions of the decrement operator.

                              edit: I see it has been fixed

                              [–]Daleeburg 10 points11 points ago

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                              It was early morning give me a break.

                              [–]asdfman123 4 points5 points ago

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                              Yes, it should be "--bottles" so that the newly decremented value shows up there. Also, I believe it should be while(bottles > 0) so that you don't deal with negative bottles.

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                                  [–]NwsAt11 41 points42 points ago

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                                  Holy shit Im getting married today too. Congrats guys!

                                  [–]LtFrankDrebin 32 points33 points ago

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                                  Holy shit it's his wife!

                                  [–][deleted] 33 points34 points ago

                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                  Haven't you got anything better to do at this moment than browsing reddit?

                                  [–]NwsAt11 46 points47 points ago

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                                  I'm sitting here in our hotel room, relaxing and eating catered chick fil a with my groomsmen. All redditors, they understand.

                                  [–]raldi 29 points30 points ago

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                                  Chick-fil-A caters?

                                  [–]NwsAt11 18 points19 points ago

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                                  Platters, and they actually deliver out here. Weird as hell but a huge hit with the groomsmen.

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                                      [–]Juts 10 points11 points ago

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                                      Get off reddit you fool

                                      [–]NwsAt11 18 points19 points ago* 

                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                      Wedding is at 6 and everything is taken care of. Downtime = reddit.

                                      [–]reddit[S] 83 points84 points ago

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                                      When writing the title, there were so many "-ation" words we had to choose from. Flirtation, experimentation, elation... (I'm sure you can figure out the others.)

                                      [–]SCUD 137 points138 points ago

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                                      It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

                                      [–]420247 31 points32 points ago

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                                      Now did you understand my explanation or would you like a demonstration?

                                      [–]Slightly_Lions 4 points5 points ago

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                                      Here's my supplication - please cease this botheration which is leading to frustration; have you no consideration for this glorious occasion?

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                                        [–]eroverton 16 points17 points ago

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                                        It is impossible to argue with this.

                                        [–]davidbeile 6 points7 points ago

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                                        It's a very sound explanation.

                                        [–]Gravity13 89 points90 points ago

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                                        Masturbation.

                                        [–]charliedayman 69 points70 points ago

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                                        Humiliation.

                                        [–]levishand 38 points39 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        Dilation.

                                        [–][deleted] 56 points57 points ago

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                                        Castration.

                                        [–]wafflesburger 56 points57 points ago

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                                        Shining Time Station.

                                        [–]NonEuclideanVaginas 20 points21 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        Hallucination.

                                        [–]fangolo 51 points52 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        Emancipation Proclamation.

                                        [–]ani625 26 points27 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        Premature Ejaculation.

                                        [–]TheBobYouKnow 13 points14 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        emasculation

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                                          [–]xtirpation 8 points9 points ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Correlation

                                          [–]oneweirdnick 16 points17 points ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Californication

                                          [–]ThatLameGuy 11 points12 points ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          pasteurization

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                                            [–]nichiplechle 10 points11 points ago

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                                            copulation

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                                              [–]Breeder18 18 points19 points ago

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                                              Titillation.

                                              [–]unphzd 6 points7 points ago

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                                              heh...titillate.

                                              [–]joetromboni 15 points16 points ago

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                                              I'm reading all these in Adam Sandler's voice

                                              [–]Prius 10 points11 points ago

                                              sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                              Floccinaucinihilipilification.

                                              [–]SicilianEggplant 9 points10 points ago

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                                              (Cajun Man!)

                                              [–]tomrhod 5 points6 points ago

                                              sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                              Ball of confusioooooooon!

                                              [–]brandonclyon 9 points10 points ago

                                              sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                              Ejaculation

                                              [–]anders987 6 points7 points ago

                                              sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                              Elongation.

                                              [–]tnkie 26 points27 points ago

                                              sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                              bread

                                              [–]dqsl 17 points18 points ago

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                                              You're thinking about ration

                                              [–]r4nf 9 points10 points ago

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                                              Cue gigantic comment thread.

                                              [–]a_dog_named_bob 5 points6 points ago

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                                              Who is "reddit" ?

                                              [–]hob196 14 points15 points ago

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                                              It's chosen now while its masters are away to reveal its sentience.

                                              [–]veryunlikely 5 points6 points ago

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                                              Fornication.

                                              [–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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                                              disco ball

                                              [–]rahulthewall 5 points6 points ago

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                                              Copulation.

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                                                [–]washer 17 points18 points ago

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                                                Would it be too much to ask that you hire someone who causes a rift between you guys and forms reddit's crew into two teams who won't invite each other to the other team's weddings?

                                                [–]LightsCameraRegret 418 points419 points ago

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                                                Jedberg! Start having children as soon as possible so you can put them to work in maintaining and upgrading the Reddit servers. It's FREE labor!

                                                [–]solidwhetstone 154 points155 points ago

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                                                Make sure you name your firstborn 'Sudo'

                                                [–]frantk 13 points14 points ago

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                                                No no no, it must be 'Cronjob'.

                                                "Restart the process? I made a little Cronjob that does that for me."

                                                [–][deleted] ago

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                                                [deleted]

                                                [–]f4hy 38 points39 points ago

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                                                'slash' is a better name IMO

                                                [–]Alotar 23 points24 points ago

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                                                I think it should be 'Slash-Star'.

                                                [–]ace586 11 points12 points ago

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                                                Suffix has to be 'Dash-f'.

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                                                      [–]kvothe 18 points19 points ago

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                                                      My family always tells me you can't even raise good help.

                                                      [–]bigpoop 17 points18 points ago

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                                                      Your family died at the hands of the Chandrian. (Spoiler alert: you've just read a spoiler)

                                                      [–]dghughes 12 points13 points ago

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                                                      fork()

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                                                        [–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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                                                        Congratulations. Will you take pictures and post them?

                                                        In fact, wouldn't it be great if all of Reddit posted a picture of him/herself, so we can see how the people on Reddit look?!

                                                        I'd add a joke about how I searched for a thread like that and didn't find anything, but now that joke's dead. Damned IndexTank!

                                                        [–]Prius 11 points12 points ago

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                                                        I've been invited to the wedding.

                                                        [–]Xiol 4 points5 points ago

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                                                        You best not be lookin' at my fly shoes, motherfucker.

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                                                          [–]Unoriginality 97 points98 points ago

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                                                          WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP (/) (o,,,,o) (/)

                                                          [–]chicametipo 36 points37 points ago

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                                                          I looked at this, pondered, then chuckled when I imagined Dr. Zoidberg. Why is Futurama the only show where I can talk in any character's voice in my head?

                                                          [–]einsteinonabike 56 points57 points ago

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                                                          Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such movies as “You’re Reading This In My Voice” and “Even Though I Just Stated It, You’re Still Reading This In My Voice.”

                                                          [–]cajaks2 4 points5 points ago

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                                                          I thought of Neg, then zoidberg.

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                                                            [–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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                                                            Hmm, I guess the invites for us reddit Gold subscribers are still in the post?

                                                            Damn, I'm going to have to thrash the butler again.

                                                            [–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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                                                            Pics or it didn't happen.

                                                            [–]boss1000 35 points36 points ago

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                                                            http://www.reddit.com/r/gonewild/

                                                            ?

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                                                              [–]ani625 9 points10 points ago

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                                                              Would you still love us jedberg? (¬_¬)

                                                              [–]InfernoEffect 72 points73 points ago

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                                                              Reason #708 why reddit went down: Jedberg's wife got pissed at him for spending all his time on reddit and destroyed half the servers.

                                                              [–]charliedayman 215 points216 points ago

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                                                              WHO'S THIS CASSANDRA YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT!?!

                                                              [–]aviewanew 166 points167 points ago

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                                                              AND JUST WHO IS SHE GOING DOWN ON?

                                                              [–][deleted] ago

                                                              sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                              [deleted]

                                                              [–]respite 50 points51 points ago

                                                              sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                              I DIDN'T VOTE ON THIS!

                                                              [–]hackysack 27 points28 points ago

                                                              sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                              THEY USED TAXPAYER MONEY TO DO WHAT?!

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                                                                  [–]viper565 12 points13 points ago

                                                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                  oh god it's like yoko ono v2.0

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                                                                    [–]ithkuil 156 points157 points ago

                                                                    sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

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                                                                    [–]atomicthumbs 27 points28 points ago

                                                                    sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                    wha

                                                                    buh

                                                                    how

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                                                                      [–]whatwasit 80 points81 points ago

                                                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                      i'm happy for you guys, i really am, but in the future, can we never ever have a situation where reddit's servers are unmanned? seriously, because you just know that there will be a time where you guys are all away doing something and some user is going to post some friggin hilarious picture of an animal/inanimate object/foreigner that is going to eventually cause the servers to crash. you know it, i know it. it will happen.

                                                                      [–]raldi 122 points123 points ago

                                                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                      The problem is, for every new engineer we hire, that's one more person who's going to get married some day and invite the rest of the team to the wedding.

                                                                      [–]demonsurge 82 points83 points ago

                                                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                      Hire priests! What could possibly go wrong!

                                                                      [–][deleted] ago

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                                                                      [deleted]

                                                                      [–]GuaranteedDownVote 23 points24 points ago

                                                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                      They are all summoned to testify in court on the same day?

                                                                      [–]derektherock42 18 points19 points ago

                                                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                      Wait... What's he doing with Jedberg Jr????

                                                                      [–]pbunbun 6 points7 points ago

                                                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                      Hire priests! What could possibly go wrong!

                                                                      Priests attend far more marriages than engineers tbh.

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                                                                        [–]derpy 14 points15 points ago

                                                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                        Or, you know, you could hire someone who's already married.

                                                                        [–][deleted] 38 points39 points ago

                                                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                        hire me, I'm too ugly to ever get married. Unless you can marry blind chicks, is marrying blind chicks legal? If so, you're fucked.

                                                                        [–]foldor 11 points12 points ago

                                                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                        Just hire the gawkiest, strangest, and most unmarriageable person you can find, and then we won't have to worry about it :D

                                                                        [–]f4hy 59 points60 points ago

                                                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                        They tried that with Jedberg...

                                                                        [–]violentacrez 19 points20 points ago

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                                                                        That hasn't worked so far...

                                                                        [–]marco0009 7 points8 points ago

                                                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                        Clearly the solution is to hire only those whom could never be loved.

                                                                        [–]raldi 36 points37 points ago

                                                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                        "WHOM" DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!

                                                                        [–]jpdoctor 7 points8 points ago

                                                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                        Oh for pete's sake: Just put checkboxes on the application.

                                                                        ☐ Are you celibate?

                                                                        ☐ By choice?

                                                                        Anyone who answers wrong doesn't get the job.

                                                                        (as usual, my management consulting fees are payable in beer.)

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                                                                            [–]Prius 13 points14 points ago

                                                                            sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                                       ._ o o
           \_`-)|_
        ,""       \ 
      ,"  ## |   ಠ ಠ.   I was going to retire after last time, but I think this is worth it.
    ," ##   ,-\__    `.   Congratulations, man!
  ,"       /     `--._;)  ______/
,"     ## /

                                                                            [–]stephenc96 17 points18 points ago

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                                                                            Well, alright, let me be the first to congratulate you then. You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart jedberg, way to work it through. (seriously though, congrats~!)

                                                                            [–]solidwhetstone 31 points32 points ago

                                                                            sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                            Hey that's one more than a lot of redditors get. Kudos!

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                                                                              [–]Hebejebelus 11 points12 points ago

                                                                              sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                              BRACE FOR REDDIT DOWNTIME

                                                                              [–]notaloop 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                              Hey! I'd like to remind you that the corporate e-mail is for business use only.

                                                                              [–]smoothoperator327 5 points6 points ago

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                                                                              congratulations!

                                                                              [–]exzackt 10 points11 points ago

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                                                                              Weddit?

                                                                              [–]cagsmith 20 points21 points ago* 

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                                                                              Congratulations jedberg (and Mrs jedberg)

                                                                              [–]washer 10 points11 points ago

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                                                                              Why did you spell it differently between jedberg and Mrs. jedburg?

                                                                              [–]ninetieswill 27 points28 points ago

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                                                                              His name is Jedberg Jedburg.

                                                                              [–]cagsmith 4 points5 points ago

                                                                              sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                              Oops, brain-fart, fixed.

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                                                                                [–]zck 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                                I can't believe you guys. It's like you've never heard of a designated survivor. How unprofessional.

                                                                                [–]GuaranteedDownVote 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                                So if (worst case scenario) it doesn't work out and they get a divorce, does she get 1/10th of the comments sections?

                                                                                [–]hlfx 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                                Best disclaimer ever, and also congrat to Jeremy and Kathy! :)

                                                                                [–]daysi 23 points24 points ago

                                                                                sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                                I hope for your wife's sake that you're better at marriage than you are at running reddit.

                                                                                [–]jedberg 275 points276 points ago

                                                                                sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                                You mean having your wife go down all the time isn't a good thing?

                                                                                [–]Pakiro 49 points50 points ago

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                                                                                Depends on how fast you can get it back up.

                                                                                [–]Gimli_The_Dwarf 45 points46 points ago

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                                                                                Stealin' my joke ain't cool, man

                                                                                [–]atara_x_ia 7 points8 points ago

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                                                                                Bah. I've been abusing the line "goes down more often than a crude sexual metaphor" for years now.

                                                                                [–]jedberg 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                                Well, if it helps, it was subconscious. You must have planted it there when I replied to you. :)

                                                                                [–]daysi 10 points11 points ago

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                                                                                :)

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                                                                                  [–]qxwevr 34 points35 points ago

                                                                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                                  Okay everyone, time to submit a bunch of comments to this thread.

                                                                                  [–]LightsCameraRegret 32 points33 points ago* 

                                                                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                                  We should create dozens of circlejerking threads at exactly 7:30pm. For example:

                                                                                  1. What is your favorite Futurama quote?

                                                                                  2. DAE LOVE BACON!?

                                                                                  3. I know this is going against the Reddit hivemind, but does anyone else not like bacon?

                                                                                  Edit: Thought of a new one:

                                                                                  1. DAE not care about Top 40's music?

                                                                                  [–]breezytrees 6 points7 points ago

                                                                                  sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                                  1. God, religious people are STUPID

                                                                                  2. Anyone else extremely intelligent?

                                                                                  [–]joetromboni 11 points12 points ago

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                                                                                  all aboard !

                                                                                  [–]levishand 9 points10 points ago

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                                                                                  Lilluputian reporting for duty, sir.

                                                                                  [–]sawu 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                                  Red october, standing by

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                                                                                    [–]solidwhetstone 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                    sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                                    And my axe deodorant!

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                                                                                      [–]Gravity13 14 points15 points ago

                                                                                      sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                                      You have to be controversial, say something to piss off a lot of people.

                                                                                      Like this: dogmatic atheists can be just as annoying as fundies sometimes.

                                                                                      [–]5user5 8 points9 points ago

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                                                                                      They might get married, but everyone dies alone.

                                                                                      [–]violentacrez 9 points10 points ago

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                                                                                      Depends on how well jedberg drives...

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                                                                                        [–]freehat 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                                        Why don't we have those awesome McDonald's ads like Digg?

                                                                                        [–]milliondollarboy1 9 points10 points ago

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                                                                                        Black people.

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                                                                                            [–]lanbanger 2 points3 points ago

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                                                                                            Hey I got married yesterday too :-)

                                                                                            [–]AMerrickanGirl 3 points4 points ago

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                                                                                            So you're having a Redding ceremony?

                                                                                            [–]dxcotre 2 points3 points ago

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                                                                                            the only five people in the world who know how reddit's technology works are all going to be at the reception tonight

                                                                                            Shit. You guys are sitting ducks. Reddit is doomed.

                                                                                            [–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                            sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                                            984 down votes? wtf? You people suck.

                                                                                            I hope you are marrying your best friend, it's worked for me for 26 years.

                                                                                            [–]MagicC 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                                            "the only five people in the world who know how reddit's technology works are all going to be at the reception tonight"

                                                                                            My God! Shouldn't we secure one of you at an undisclosed location or something?!

                                                                                            [–]freemorons 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                            sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                                            HAPPY! HAPPY! HAPPY!

                                                                                            Congrats bud - have a wonderful life ahead!

                                                                                            [–]shereddit 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                                            Obligatory

                                                                                            [–]Sykotik 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                                            Congratulations guys, seriously. I wish you nothing but the best.

                                                                                            Here's to a long and happy life. Cheers.

                                                                                            [–]rhiesa 2 points3 points ago

                                                                                            sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                                                            Congratulations!

                                                                                            As to avoiding a gigantic amount of comments in a single post? I think you've already done that.

                                                                                            [–]soumokil 2 points3 points ago

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                                                                                            Proper planning would have been to have the reception where the reddit servers are kept. Problem solved! J/K Congratulations!

                                                                                            [–]grandmoffcory 2 points3 points ago

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                                                                                            I love a site which informs people of possible downtime do to partying.

                                                                                            That isn't sarcasm, I legitimately found it charming.

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