Made a sub-reddit r/patriarchalblessing an archive for people to read or share their patriarchal blessings

fa1thless · 5 days

As much as I would like to participate, mine is currently in the possession of my parents, and I think they might suspect my motives if I ask them for it.

judgementbarandgrill · 10 days

Darmok and Jalad at Tenagra.

cottoncubes · 21 days

I once took two pieces. Some little kid tattled to his mom on me. Loudly.

jimmyisright · 24 days

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lchOa6fIbHI

EroTaka · 25 days

In the early days of the internet, many porn sites would ask the question "Are you 18" and give the options "Yes" or "No". The no link would usually lead to disney.com.

nonoriginalname · 1 month

I assure you, we are open.

Chino_Blanco · 1 month

My mother claims that there is some doctrine that allows for parental intercession. Basically she says she will drag me to the Celestial Kingdom one way or another.

MasterJuanB · 1 month

The chicken probably would have done pretty much the same thing if it had been a clean decapitation.

balaams-donkey · 1 month

Interesting to note the last line of both articles lists the occupation of the author. One is a history professor. One is a chiropractor. Guess which one completely dismisses anything that may have happened in the past.

freezingprocess · 1 month

I own this shirt. The surprising thing is how many people don't understand it.

ratedhero · 2 months

EFY = Especially for Youth. It's a week-long Youth Conference where you get a bunch of teenagers together to do activities and learn about God. Standard Bible Camp stuff.

singletracks · 2 months

I have a relative who got married in her early twenties. When she was asked about family planning, her answer was along the lines of however many the Lord sent her. She came from a large family. Her parents had the same philosophy. The fact that she had spent several years in foster homes because Child Protective Services didn't think their philosophy was working out very well in their case didn't make any sort of impact on her.

This girl was very unprepared for adult life. My TBM parents thought she was too immature to get married. When she announced she thought she was pregnant three months after the wedding, you could feel the sense of dread. And it's unlikely that I will ever again hear a Mormon say that a young couple finding out that they are infertile strengthened his testimony.

madelinerose7 · 2 months

That first part reminds me of something. My parents ran an in-home day-care for a few years. The children there were half me and my siblings, and half other kids. One of the other kids heard my sibs and I call my parents "Mommy" and "Daddy", so he started calling them that too. Then one day, his dad arrived at the same time my dad pulled into the driveway. The kid starts yelling "Daddy, daddy" and runs up to MY father for a hug. His dad found other child care arrangements within the week.

fa1thless · 2 months

My ward always used the clear plastic cups.

mattsatwork · 2 months

Problem solved.

zulan · 2 months

I am sworn to carry your burdens.

throwaway123454321 · 3 months

Because Mormons love wearing slightly transparent clothing to show off their "Eternal Smile." Seriously, one time I was watching a movie with my mother when she ecstatically pointed out that one of the actresses had a garment line.

Brainswarm · 3 months

I really don't see what the problem is.

Brainswarm · 4 months

If you can somehow get the ship designated as a church, this plan could work.

slept_in · 4 months

My parents had to ban me from going up there for a while, because the first time I "went solo" I started making noises into the microphone and shouted "Hey, (little brother), you have to try this."

librarylad22 · 5 months

Who's open weekdays til eight, Saturdays til five, closed Sunday.

Brainswarm

TROPHY CASE

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