Playing against girlfriend

darkreef2 · 3 days

You know, fighting games are, at their basest levels, a game of Rock Paper Scissor. Once you know the moves and some combos, you're just trying to guess what they're gonna do and use the move that beats it. If someone is using one move over and over, it's like someone throwing Rock over and over. If you bitch about losing to that, well...jesus.

MrFunkhouser · 7 days

Seconded.

JakalDX · 7 days

I could. Or maybe i don't. Bemoaning loss of potential enjoyment is a suckers bet. It doesn't matter if I am dead, because I am dead. And maybe those years will be boring, or maybe they are shitty. Maybe my teeth continue to rot and are filled with pain. Theres all kinds of possibilities for the future which i cannot anticipate. What i do know is that if i kill myself, its ended and all possible destinations reach the inevitable conclusion.

JakalDX · 7 days

So what am I supposed to expect? Am i allowed to have any expectations? I am expected to plan all the time for my future, right?

JakalDX · 7 days

Haha, wouldn't have guessed that. Still, i'm willing to bet there's stories in Atlanta. I think you should keep a "road journal" or something when you're out there

JakalDX · 7 days

I wouldn't say effort is the right word. More of a feeling of boredom. Like I haven't enjoyed the movie up until now, and I'm not really interested in sitting through the whole thing. I also get hit with bouts of depression that hit me pretty hard, which really drive the feeling home.

But to put it succinctly, theres nothing in life i get enough enjoyment out of to really make it worth working 40 hours a week for the next who knows how many years. Also, my health just degrades as time goes on, so I am gonna get fatter and more slovenly. Don't feel like plodding on for the nebulous promise of happiness or peace in the future when peace is a noose away, so to speak.

JakalDX · 7 days

Damn, I know that feel. Sorry it's so hard for you. Anxiety can be especially crippling. My heart goes out to you.

JakalDX · 7 days

Where do you think your first destination would be?

JakalDX · 7 days

I feel like there's a story here.

JakalDX · 7 days

Sounds like kind of a platitude, honestly. Appreciate the words of support but honestly, all that i really have in life is moments of novelty interspersed by large periods of boredom. Tried several hobbies, don't really enjoy any. Just like video games. Hate working too, cause I am pretty much a lazy bum. Tried to be different and failed. So fuck it, why keep plodding, you know? I'd rather be sleeping anyway.

JakalDX · 7 days

Your font choice is bad and you should feel bad.

JakalDX · 7 days

Dude, I envy people who do that. There are a lot of stories to be had that way. Just don't get your shit stolen. A couple friends had their whirlwind adventure cut short by a carprowler.

JakalDX · 7 days

Thought about it but logistically, i don't see myself getting far. My net assets aren't exactly woth much. Hardly travel the world money. Besides, when the money ran out shit would still suck.

JakalDX · 7 days

Ive always had that "if i got mugged fantasy" of what I'd do. It's filed with the "if masked gunmen attacked my school" fantasy i had when i was a kid

JakalDX · 7 days

No, suicide is for quitters. Though I've certainly never been called a brave man. Lol

Toothyy · 12 days

So I'll admit, I don't do this kind of stuff for a completely shallow reason. The first thing that goes through my head is "yeah, I bet you'd like me to bend over for you, huh? Find another sucker." Basically, I am bitter and desperately afraid of being manipulated.

trixiethesalmon · 14 days

Well, maybe I can provide a different opinion for you. Not all of us "forever alone" types are self entitled douches. Though admittedly I was one when I was younger.

The short version is that I have a complete lack of confidence. I understand this is a poor quality to have, and isn't attractive. I certainly don't expect anyone to love someone who hates themself, and i don't really have a nice body so i pretty much suck in both personality and physical attractiveness. I've been told i just need to be more confident, but i literally have no idea how to cultivate that. When i truly believe there is nothing redeeming about me, telling myself i am awesome or cool just sounds hollow and trite.

I don't mean to be a downer. Just pointing out that guys like me don't know a different way to be. Imagine being bad at a sport or something, and someone just comes up and says "what you should do is just do better!"

JakalDX · 1 month

I'm actually quite experienced with other psychedelics, and have never really lost connection with reality like I did with DMT. Thought I was an experienced psychonaut, but I was out of my element.

JakalDX · 1 month

On the latest occurence, I literally had a panic attack about having a panic attack. I started thinking about it, and the music I was listening to seemed to be getting more and more intense. I worried about having a panic attack, and I could feel myself becoming agitated. The more I failed to calm down, the more worried I became.

Previously, it had been about more abstract ideas. I worry a lot about going crazy, and that's what it feels like when I have a panic attack. I start feeling like nothing is really "real", like I am having a religious experience (I'm not religious), like I am becoming detached from reality, and this causes me to become heavily agitated. I've tried meditation in the past but I have a hard time concentrating.

JakalDX · 1 month

I might try this. That was one of the things I was experience, my heart rate would keep speeding up and I would try to calm down, but focusing on this just made it worse.

JakalDX · 1 month

Well, the trip had a few possible reasons it turned bad. First off, I took way, way too much. I took about .2 grams, when the recommended amount is about .05. As I took the hit, I could feel myself pulling away from reality, so to speak, like I was being sucked away from the present moment. As this was happening, all I could think was, "This was a bad idea. I took way too much." I'm pretty sure that's what started the negative feelings, and it just got worse from there, where I thought I was dying and I was turning inside out, my soul was being pulled out, all kinds of stuff. It was way too intense.

My recommendation with DMT is to not do what I did, and ease in slow. Most people have had positive experiences from it, I just jumped in headfirst and paid the consequences.

survum · 4 months

Look at the pupils. That cat is high as shit.

JakalDX

TROPHY CASE

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